As a children’s occupational therapist I frequently hear parents say their child just cannot sit at the table or they are always fidgeting or getting up and down from their chair. As a mummy of 2….I have been there with my own kids so I get it and thankfully there are lots of effective strategies to help support your child with sitting which I am keen to share with you in this blogpost!
Sitting at the table and eating a meal requires more physical effort than we often realise it’s not just about chewing and swallowing. A child’s ability to stay seated and eat comfortably is influenced by:
1. Postural Stability & Core Strength
Think about how tiring it is to sit on a stool with no back support for a long time, or a high bar stool with your legs dangling; this is what it feels like for a child with poor postural stability and reduced core strength.
Children need a strong core and stable posture to sit upright for an extended period. If they don’t have this, they may:
Constantly shift in their chair to try and find support
Slouch, lean on the table, or rest their head in their hands
Get up frequently because sitting feels too hard
When a child is focused on just trying to stay upright, they have less energy and attention left for eating and feeding! They may struggle to hold and use cutlery properly, leading to frustration, messy eating, and avoidance of mealtimes.
2️. Sensory Regulation & Movement Needs
For some children, sitting still for a meal can feel stressful or overwhelming. This is especially true for children with sensory processing differences, Autism or ADHD for example.
Sensory-seeking kids crave movement and struggle to sit still. They may:
Wiggle, rock, or move constantly
Get up and down from their seat
Have difficulty focusing on their food because their brain is seeking movement
Constantly fidget with items on the table or their clothing
Sensory-sensitive kids may struggle with:
The feeling of the chair (too hard, cold, or uncomfortable)
The sounds, smells, and textures of mealtime (which can be overwhelming)
Feeling trapped or overstimulated in a busy environment
A child who is seeking movement or feeling overwhelmed will struggle to focus on their meal, making mealtimes more stressful and less enjoyable for them and their family in turn.
3️. Poor Motor Coordination & Low Muscle Tone
Some children have low muscle tone or difficulty with fine motor skills, which makes holding and using cutlery effectively very challenging.
If a child is struggling to coordinate their hands to scoop, stab, or cut food, they may:
Get frustrated and give up on eating independently
Prefer finger foods or avoid meals that require utensils
Take much longer to eat, leading to boredom or frustration
Some children may experience one or all of these difficulties. If eating is difficult and frustrating or indeed overwhelming a child is less likely to enjoy mealtimes and more likely to rush, fidget, or leave the table early.
So the question is….what can we do to help those kids who struggle to sit for mealtimes? The good news is, there are lots of simple strategies that can make a big difference to your child and make for happier family mealtimes. Why not try a few of these suggestions below:
1️. Get the Right Seating Setup
Proper seating can make a huge difference in helping kids feel comfortable and supported.
✔️ Feet should be flat and supported – If your child’s feet dangle, they will fidget more as they are unstable. Use a footstool or a box to prop feet if sitting at a higher dining table or a height-adjustable chair (like a Tripp Trapp).
✔️ Hips, knees, and ankles at 90 degrees – This creates a strong and stable sitting position.
✔️ A stable chair with good back support – Avoid oversized chairs that make it harder for your child to sit upright.
2️. Offer Movement Before Mealtimes
If your child has lots of wiggles and energy, try movement-based activities before sitting down. This helps their body feel calmer and more regulated at the table.
Try:
✔️ 5 minutes of jumping, dancing, or animal walks
✔️ Carrying something heavy to the table (like a water jug or a pile of plates)
✔️ Pushing against the wall (wall push-ups)
For children with low tone or reduced core strength, engaging in core-strengthening activities throughout the day (like crawling, climbing, or tummy time play) can also help improve sitting endurance over time!
3️. Use Fidget-Friendly Strategies
If your child needs to move while sitting, try these subtle fidgets that won’t distract them from eating:
✔️ A balance movement cushion under their bottom
✔️ Theraband around the chair legs so they can push their feet against it
✔️ A small hand fidget (like a squishy toy or therapy putty)
✔️ Drinking through a straw (oral input can help regulate the nervous system!)
If your child is constantly fidgeting, moving, or struggling at mealtimes, it’s not about "bad behaviour"—it’s often about body awareness, postural control, and sensory regulation. When a child’s body is supported, they can focus more on eating. When mealtimes feel less overwhelming, they become more enjoyable. When using cutlery is easier, they feel more confident and independent.
By supporting their body AND sensory needs, we can make mealtimes more enjoyable for everyone!
If you have a child who struggles with mealtimes, eating or feeding, be sure to check out our online Sensory Eaters Programme, an indepth multidisciplinary approach to helping your child with food acceptance and mealtimes and making mealtimes a more positive experience for the whole family!
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